Adulting with Autism

How to Unlock Inner Peace: A Journey with Metta

Hey guys, welcome to Adulting with Autism, the podcast where we dive into the rollercoaster of adulthood through a neurodiverse lens. I'm April Ratchford, your friendly occupational therapist mom, proudly on the spectrum and raising an amazing young adult son with autism. Join us as we share stories, tips, and laughs, offering a supportive space for anyone navigating life's twists and turns. Grab your drink of choice, no judgment, and let's embark on this journey together. This is Adulting with Autism.

Hey guys, hey, happy Saturday. Welcome back to the podcast. I'm late and you're judging. Normally I get these things in the morning. It has been a busy week. I'm planning on going on vacation. Don't worry, my episode's up and running while I'm on vacation, so you will be hearing my lovely voice on vacation. However, in order to go on vacation, I had to scramble and get a lot of my paperwork in before going on vacation, which meant I didn't get a lot of recording done prior to this. So that's why I'm recording a little later and getting it up, brain fart, a little later than normal. However, I hope you guys had a great end of the week and that you guys are staying cooler due to the heat wave. It's still a mesmerizing 90 degrees, even though it's 8.30 here in Kentucky. I'm still melting.

However, I would like to introduce you to Metta Rebirk. She is an aspiring author and coach who has dedicated over two decades to helping experienced leaders realize their true potential and free themselves from anxiety. Her new book, The Twin Point Life Force, comes from questioning your thoughts and reveals how we can set ourselves free by questioning what we believe to be true. She has come to see that for all, the human life force emerges and inner peace reveals itself by questioning our thoughts about reality, which is true about anxiety.

So many of us sit there and have thoughts about ourselves that aren't true and run around and take up space in our heads without really questioning that thought. And she coaches into really breaking down that thought and wondering, is that thought really true, or is it something that we believe just because it's a lingering thought we have? So she talks about how to experience peace and joy in the present, no matter what your external circumstances look like. How to create a new life experience if the one you're in now isn't kind. How to break free from a negative thought loop when you inevitably get caught in one. I like both anxiety, self-doubt, self-sabotage, self-destructive habits, and how to feel free, how to feel inner peace regardless of not knowing and uncertainty. And that's the thing about anxiety. We're so busy worrying about the future and not focusing on the now that it gets us all ramped up.

And all we can do is take advice from Metta and really think about reading her book. Even you parents and caregivers, sometimes we get so caught up in worrying about our kids' futures and our futures and how it's going to relate to our kids that our anxiety ramps up, which ramps their anxiety up. So, sit down, take a moment, have your drink of choice, and of course, always no judgment, and welcome our guest. Hello. Good morning. How are you? Fine, thank you. And you? I'm doing well. Lovely, lovely. And I'm so sorry for the inconvenience for our last scheduled meeting. That's quite all right. Where are you in the world? I'm in Denmark, in Copenhagen. And you, my dear, where are you except apart from being in a car? Listen, sometimes the car is my best office. I am in Kentucky in the United States. Wow. I know Kentucky Fried Chicken. That's the only thing we're known for except for the derby. I'm so sorry, but now maybe you will enlighten me a little bit more about your lovely area. Now I want to go to Denmark. I'm like, I'm ready to travel.

Oh, it's a beautiful little country. You know, there are not many people living in Denmark. We are only 5 million. That's still a good portion. I was like, only 5 million? Yeah, one big family, you know. I know, just joking. But yeah, you're welcome and if you come, I will love to cook for you. You can even stay over here. I have a spare place. It's a deal. You just let me know a little in advance and I will make everything ready. So tell me, how is it that you got into letting people know that you can just revamp your life in later stages? Yeah. I don't know actually where to start, except from that I work with a lot of very successful people, actually. Apparently, they have achieved almost everything. But still, they were not very happy. And they were very insecure about what they had achieved. If, for instance, their father, they were proud of them or they had a lot of thinking going on that didn't really make them very happy. And then also myself, my own thinking about life and my kids and the world and everything. And then I started to be a little curious about what is a thought and what is a feeling and what comes first, emotion or the thoughts. And then I dived into that five, six years ago.

And actually, while biking in Copenhagen, I got a little epiphany that when I believed my thoughts, I had stomach problems. I had a lot of different kinds of problems. But when I didn't believe them, I was actually okay. And then I started to gather a lot of details and information and knowledge about the brain and the heart and what does it mean to be a human? And then I decided to write a book about it. And this is this book here that I'm going to show you. It's actually also on Amazon. And for the last five, six years, my life has changed into something much more friendly. I work with very skilled people who want to change their career. I work with leaders who want to become better leaders for people. And I have also become a much better mom. I'm not always, you know, busy telling the whole world how they should behave. I let them behave like they want to. And then I focus on how me, myself, I behave. I know there are a lot of parents out there that have adult kids that are on the spectrum or neurodiverse. Yeah. And they have all their lives connected themselves to their kids and have no idea. They've kind of lost themselves and have no idea how to separate their issues from their kids. And now that their kids are adults, they need to kind of separate themselves in order to really live their lives. And I think you have some of the answers.

I don't know if I have some answers, but I have come to see that when we meet another person, we don't really meet the other person. We meet our story about the other person. That means that actually we meet ourselves. And then we start judging. And then when the behavior of the other doesn't really match what we had imagined it should be, then we become either very upset and we find it very, maybe not respectful. And it's just because in an innocent moment, we believed something that was not correct. And of course, you know all parents they want their kids to have a happy life and when we see that our kids they may not be like we thought them to be or we wanted them to be we may even think that they that the life they have was not as good as it could be but what do we know. So when we get to know that, when we can kind of silent our own mind and listen to the other person, regardless of it's, you know, a child with certain challenges or whatever, we can start to become more curious about, who are you? You don't need to be like me to have a good life. and maybe even I can learn something from you. I have a good friend and she has a son who is now 16 and maybe he has a mind like eight years old. And we had a very lovely talk a couple of days ago, Annamita and I, and suddenly she discovered that the reason why she had been so miserable and so sad about her son, was because she thought that he could not have a good life. But that was only because she met him from her perspective, not from his perspective. And I think that when we become aware of ourselves, we are very busy with all the others. So we tend to forget that we need to pay attention to ourselves and to get to learn ourselves and especially become aware of our thinking about the world because the world is not how we believe it to be because the world is actually much nicer than the stories we tell ourselves about the world. But we don't know that. And also, there's also another thing here is that when we believe our thoughts to be who we are, it can be very difficult to let go of the thoughts. Because, you know, a lot of parents with challenging kids, they also become kind of victims of, you know, life, what has now, you know, emerged. So without this victim kind of head, who am I? If I'm not a victim, who am I? But we are not, we have a kid with special needs, but it's not who we are. We just try to do our best to take care of our kids. The problem arises when we believe it to be who we are. I don't know if it's a little weird what I'm saying. And then maybe you will ask me, but when do we know that we are, you know, pulling our own leg with the stories, making up stories? And that is when we can feel it, when we become stressed and get stomach problems. Some have problems with the shoulders, you know, different spots in the body that doesn't feel nice. Then we know that we are building up a story that we in a moment believe to be true. Our thoughts create our feelings, and it's the feelings that we react upon. We are not at all rational beings. And the brain actually doesn't know anything. The brain guesses. A couple of days ago, I was watching out of the window and I saw a guy like with a yellow shirt on and stuff. And then I thought, okay, wonderful. Now the municipality is going to work on the streets because it's so bumpy. And I was so happy and I started to think, okay, in two months time, it will be so nice. And then I just turned my head. And then I saw that this guy with a long line behind him was out walking his dog. So our brain, you know, picks up small bits here and there and then put it together. And the brain doesn't mind if it's not 100% reality, the story that is, you know, putting together. Something that is approximately correct is okay but not really because then a lot of misunderstandings arise so so when we become more aware of what's going on inside of ourselves and don't think that it's something that someone has you know imposed on me then we can start to meet whatever lands on our plate with much more peace and much more strength.

Do you think by accident a lot of therapists and doctors accidentally feed into the stories that we tell ourselves about our kids and it makes us seem like we're victims that we have kids with special needs until we believe these stories in our heads. And how can we break this kind of victim mentality of these stories in our brains? I think that we can take responsibility for ourselves. I no one can hurt me except me and the story that I'm telling myself if if I, for instance sorry sorry not good. I'm 60 years old, and when I was almost 23 years old, my twin brother died in an accident, actually in the United States. And we were very close. I discovered that I really never said I and me. I always said we and us. And suddenly I had to learn how to say I and me. And in the beginning i didn't thought that i could ever be happy again but then after years and and also some introspection i started to see that everything was okay and even though that my brother, he only lived almost 23 years, he got a full life. And the gift he brought to my life for the time we had together has also been part of who I am today. So when we look at what happens from another perspective. Everything is actually okay. And it doesn't mean that we don't become sad and, you know, totally, you know, I really hope that everything will be okay. But we can meet whatever comes with more grace and with more trust that everything is going to, is okay. Okay. Actually, I have discovered also that we never really exist in the moment. Like, either we are somewhere yesterday, years ago, thinking about what happened and why it shouldn't, or we are in the future. But the only thing that exists is actually this small moment you and I, we have now, which the next small moment is created upon. And in this small moment, you and I together, are you okay? Yes. Me too. Okay. So when we become more aware of what we have, it's so difficult to be scared. And, you know, it's not just me. we all have the same kind of, we are created the same way. So this is not just something that counts for me, counts for you, counts for your kids and all the listeners and the listeners' kids and their family and the whole shebang, you know. So, and when we look, when we become aware of this, you know, we can meet our kids with curiosity because we don't want anything actually to change because it is what it is. And. And it is even better than we could, you know, because we never really very seldom think about something that will be. We always think about something that will be even, you know, worse. And if we are so busy not being present, we don't see actually the small steps that our son is taking in his manner. Because we are somewhere else. And therefore we also, you know, scare ourselves because there's so many things that we kind of don't get, don't see. And it's innocent because it's very difficult to see what you don't see until you see it. And we also complicate life, really complicate life by not being aware of what's going on in our own head. And we believe also that all the others, they are so busy thinking about judging us, but actually, a small secret, nobody cares. They are so busy with their thoughts and their stories. So when we start to focus a little bit more on our own thinking and not so much on what we believe others are thinking about us. We can breathe. We can smile. Life becomes kinder, more peaceful, and we become nicer. Does this make sense? It makes perfect sense. How can we stay in these small movements? Yeah, I would love to be there all the time. Yes. But I'm not, so it comes and goes. But I know that when I forget to be aware and to be present, I know how to come back. You know, when you lay in bed in the morning, you're not asleep, but you're not awake. It's just in between. There's nothing. thing. You're just there in your bed. Those small moments, they are, you know, behind. It's a little like, you know, the sky without all the clouds. It can be very cloudy, but above the clouds, always blue sky. And it's like you and me, behind all the thoughts, you know, there's always peace. So when we become aware of this, we can let go of the thoughts. You know, we have around 60,000, 70,000 thoughts a day. They come and go. We cannot control that. But what we can control is that we don't need to be attached to those thoughts. Let them go, regardless of how weird they are. Wow. Okay. But the problem arises when we try to keep on to the thoughts, and especially those thoughts that really create a mess inside us.

So how can we break negative thought loops? We can stop being attached to them. But it can be very difficult if we think that we are our thoughts. And we think that we are a victim because even though that he doesn't feel well, it can be even more difficult to get, you know, if we are used to having a stone in the shoe and we think that having a stone in the shoe kind of defines who we are. We are the one who is fighting against the world for my kids. I'm alone. So then we will not easily take out the stone and throw it away. Because without all that, who am I? Who am I? But you are the one experiencing all this that lands on your plate. You know, the kid you were when you were five years old and the full-blown woman you are today, there's nothing left. The cells have been, you know, changed so many times and everything has changed so many times. But what is still, you know, the same is the awareness of, you know, It's like being in a theater and seeing a lot of different plays passing. You are the one observing. And then again, become aware, self-aware. But this doesn't feel well. What did I think just before I had this feeling? Oh, what if I die and my child is going to be left alone? Who's going to take care? yeah, okay, if I die before my child, can I be 100% sure that no one is going to care? Ah, 100%? Ah, maybe not. Without this thought in this situation, how am I? I'm actually okay. We have a very strong network, and actually my kid, who is now 22 years old, is having a funny time where he's living and he has friends and maybe even a girlfriend. What is the problem? The problem is my thinking about reality, not reality.

What can people do when they decide they want to completely change their lives? Like, what's the first step? Like, they know their kids are going to do what they're going to do. And they've decided to let go. But they no longer want to be the person they are. They're like, okay, this is not the life I want. I want to be somebody different. What do they do first? They're like, I don't know, what do I do first? Do I go back to school to be who I want? Should I do personal development first? Do I learn to meditate? Do I take care of my health? Where would you start? Maybe I would go for a long walk. Be silent. Be together with myself somewhere. Somewhere not doing anything looking out of the window try to adjust to be me to be in me together with me i presume also that a lot of your listeners they they are very busy people because they have been busy taking care of the family and i don't know what and they don't know themselves. So maybe be silent and be curious about what is hiding in there. Of course, you can go to school and you can go to yoga and you can whatever. But that's nice. If you like it, then do it. Everything that you like and that makes you smile, go ahead, my dear. but really to get to know you be silent it doesn't cost anything be silent. Curious, curiosity. And then every time you kind of want to hold on to something, a thought about, this is me, you know who I am, boom, boom. Then be, you know, courageous to

Book-“The Tipping Point: Life Force Comes From Questioning Your Thoughts" 

https://www.linkedin.com/in/mette-reebirk/

The Friendship Formula: Making Meaningful Connections Beyond High School

Hey guys, welcome to Adulting with Autism, the podcast where we dive into the rollercoaster of adulthood through a neurodiverse lens. I'm April Ratchford, your friendly occupational therapist mom, proudly on the spectrum and raising an amazing young adult son with autism. Join us as we share stories, tips, and laughs, offering a supportive space for anyone navigating life's twists and turns. Grab your drink of choice, no judgment, and let's embark on this journey together. This is Adulting with Autism.

Hey guys, hey, happy Wednesday. So glad you can make this podcast a song for you. It's called Friends. How many of us have them? Friends, ones we can depend on. Friends. Listen, you better be loving this song because it took me ages to get it right. And I used to sing that song all the time. If you don't know it, shame on your parents. And my cat, Peter, he's agreeing with me. He has all the opinions. Beats me into my next step. So I have Coach Lee Hopkins here, who is an expert on friendships.

Let's be real. You guys are out of high school. And making friends outside of high school is rather difficult because if you're not going to college and you're not working yet, how else are you guys making friends? And don't say the internet. That doesn't help. Because really, human beings are social creatures and you need to learn to do it face to face. We are not made to be looking at a little screen. That's a great beginning, don't get me wrong. And that's how a lot of you guys interact in the beginning. And I'm not faulting you for that. Not faulting you at all. But you have to get used to interacting with other people. And it's a healthy thing. And Coach Lee here can help you.

So he actually struggled with making friends himself because he was trying to find that perfect friend group. And we all struggled at one point of trying to find that perfect friend group. And he often felt isolated and alone. And it wasn't until he discovered the power of vulnerability that he began to break through the barriers that had held him back for so long. He learned that by speaking from the heart and being true to himself, he could have meaningful conversations that led to lasting friendships with other people. And now he's passionate about helping other people do the same.

So he helps people struggling to connect with co-workers, colleagues, friends, and family members to communicate in a way that feels authentic and true to who they are. So it's not just you guys. It can be anybody who wants an authentic friendship, even your parents or your caregivers. Because think about it. They've been helping you so much that they've lost friends along the way. And you guys have to learn that your parents just aren't your parents. Your parents were people prior to being your parents or caregivers. They had things, and I'm guilty of it too, that I generally forgot who my parents were prior to having me. We all do. We all forget who our parents were before they had us. And it's a thing. It's all a kid thing. We all forget at one point that they all had lives before we entered the picture. It's no big deal. You got to remember, your parents solely made you their focus to help you become the best version of you they could be. And along the way, they gave up things they wanted to do. Having friend groups and, and don't feel bad about it. They did this voluntarily and sometimes, you know, friends sometimes grow apart and sometimes that's okay. And sometimes they come back in your life.

I had a best friend in elementary school. Oh, she, Deborah, my best friend. We were like lit. And she went to another school in third grade. And just because life just happened, she went to a traditional Jewish Orthodox school. I continued on with traditional school because my parents were like, absolutely not. You're not going to Jewish. They weren't having it because I tried. And we reconnected during COVID. Friendships ebb and flow. People come in your life and they go out of your life. And that's just how friendships are. They're fluid.

So give a listen to Coach Lee and he's got some great ideas that can help you, especially if you guys are now entering the workforce for the first time. And those of you that are prepping for college, also think about it. He has some great ideas. So welcome my guest, Coach Lee.

As we wrap up another awesome episode of Adulting with Autism, just remember, we're all in this together. Keep being your amazing selves, celebrating wins big and small, and facing whatever life throws your way with a smile. Thanks for tuning in. And until next time, stay awesome and keep shining bright.

Oh, and if you want to help our podcast grow, don't forget to share it with your friends. Leave us a review and hit that subscribe button. This is April Ratchford signing off from Adulting with Autism.

https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/

https://www.instagram.com/patternsofpossibility/

https://x.com/PatternsPossi

https://www.tiktok.com/@patternsofpossibility

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk_sXvnjqwhFlpI-NYV845g?view_as=subscriber

 

 

Discovering Life-Changing Health Solutions: A Chat with Darlene Greene

Hey there, friends! Welcome back to another exciting episode of Adulting with Autism, the podcast where we explore the highs and lows of adulthood from a unique, neurodiverse perspective. I'm your host, April Ratchford, your friendly occupational therapist mom, proudly on the spectrum and raising an amazing young adult son with autism. Grab your drink of choice, no judgment here, and let's dive into today's episode!

Happy Saturday, everyone! It's been a whirlwind of a week for me, and I'm sure it has been for you too. Between managing our Facebook group, working on merchandise, and collaborating with friends who also have neurodiverse family members, there's never a dull moment. But hey, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Today, I have a fantastic guest joining us. Please welcome Darlene Greene, a Stem Cell Activation Technologist Consultant, retired U.S. Navy Commander, and co-author of the best-selling book, Powered Echoes. Darlene is here to share some groundbreaking insights into a technology that's changing lives—patches that can help with everything from pain relief to improving mental clarity. Trust me, you don't want to miss this!

Darlene talks about her journey discovering these patches after exhausting traditional therapies to help her husband with early Alzheimer's. The results were nothing short of miraculous—improved energy, better sleep, and even a return to his vibrant personality. And guess what? This technology is not just for Alzheimer's; it can help with ADHD, anxiety, systemic inflammation, and so much more.

What makes these patches so special? They're based on light therapy, a safe and non-invasive method that activates your body's own stem cells. Imagine improving your health without the need for drugs or surgeries! It's fascinating to hear how athletes like Tom Brady and Michael Phelps have benefited from these patches, and now this technology is available to all of us.

We also delve into the specifics of how these patches work, the various types available, and real-life testimonials from people who've experienced life-changing results. From reducing anxiety and PTSD symptoms to helping kids with autism become more independent, the possibilities are endless.

If you're curious to learn more, Darlene has a wealth of information on her website, I Am Reverse Aging. And don't worry, there's even a money-back guarantee if you're skeptical.

Thank you so much for tuning in today. As always, your support means the world to me. Be sure to check out the show notes for all the links and details mentioned in this episode. And stay tuned for an exciting giveaway coming up on July 15th!

Until next week, keep adulting, and don't forget to hit that subscribe button. This is April Ratchford signing off from Adulting with Autism.

 

https://iamreverseaging.com/

https://www.facebook.com/darlene.bennett.greene

https://www.linkedin.com/in/darlenegreene/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UjaLqrRInM

or

https://us02web.zoom.us/rec/share/svb1-UWWA22TNcyiEWPi26H9k-pmkzMyEa_CBMn-fFKOu4-ko3V37zVBKWoGBPRa.7nqS7pbcFfKpcVOA

 

How To Find Balance: Exercise and Anxiety with Molly McNamee

Hey guys, happy Wednesday! Welcome back to another episode of Adulting with Autism. I'm April Ratchford, your friendly occupational therapist mom, proudly on the spectrum and raising an amazing young adult son with autism. Today, I've got a couple of furry co-hosts—my black and white cat, Severus Snape and the ever-talkative Peter Pettigrew. They’re here to help me dive into a topic that none of us love but we all need—exercise. And no, not extra fries, but actual exercise!

We've got a special guest today, Molly McNamee, an online fitness coach who specializes in helping individuals with high-functioning anxiety navigate exercise in a way that supports their nervous system and hormones. Molly's journey with anxiety and exercise is deeply personal and incredibly inspiring. She's here to share her story and some practical tips on how to get moving without making your anxiety worse.

We dive into why exercise is essential, even though it might not be the most fun thing in the world. Molly explains how the wrong kind of exercise can actually spike your anxiety and what you can do to avoid that. From baby steps to proper hydration, and even tackling sugar addictions, Molly's got the answers to help you ease into a healthier lifestyle.

So, grab your drink of choice (no judgment here), and let's embark on this journey together. By the end of this episode, you'll have some simple, actionable steps to start incorporating exercise into your life in a way that feels good and manageable. And yes, this goes for all you parental units and caregivers too!

As always, thanks for tuning in. Let's keep facing life's twists and turns together, celebrating wins big and small, and supporting each other every step of the way. Until next time, stay awesome and keep shining bright!

Oh, and if you want to help our podcast grow, don't forget to share it with your friends, leave us a review, and hit that subscribe button. This is April Ratchford signing off from Adulting with Autism.

Music

Navigating Life and Success: An Inspiring Conversation with Philip

Hey guys, welcome to Adulting with Autism, the podcast where we dive into the rollercoaster of adulthood through a neurodiverse lens. I'm April Ratchford, your friendly occupational therapist mom, proudly on the spectrum and raising an amazing young adult son with autism. Join us as we share stories, tips, and laughs, offering a supportive space for anyone navigating life's twists and turns. Grab your drink of choice, no judgment, and let's embark on this journey together. This is Adulting with Autism.

Hey guys, hey. Happy Saturday. I told you guys I would end up doing two episodes a week for you guys. It just happens the second one's on a Saturday. And I hear you guys judging me. Who does episodes on Wednesdays and Saturdays? This therapist does. Tried Fridays. It's a dumpster fire for therapists on Fridays. So I had to go to Wednesdays and it just so happens Saturdays are a great day for therapists.

I love you guys' feedback of what you like, what you don't, because you're pretty honest with me. I like honesty, even if it's brutal. One thing I do like to give you guys is a rounded out opinion, well, not opinion, but a rounded out view of different people on the autism spectrum. And my next guest is a guest who is on the autism spectrum and he's quite accomplished. And I want you to hear his perspective of how he grew up with autism because he wasn't really diagnosed until he was four. His grandmother was a big influence on his life. She just kept on trucking and kept reading and working with him until he started talking.

Let me tell you about Philip. Philip is an accomplished author, consultant, and entrepreneur who previously has worked with FedEx, Goldman Sachs, Bank of America, and Chick-fil-A. He got his Master's of Divinity degree from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, his MBA from Harvard Business School, and his bachelor's degree majoring in political science and economics from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Philip has previously been featured in Business Insider, Entrepreneur Magazine, Forbes, and LinkedIn, as well as a number of podcasts.

When Philip is not fulfilling his purpose to grow God's people, grow God's businesses and grow God's kingdom, he enjoys reading, cheering on his Tar Heels, and raising his twin daughters with his wife, Myra. Now, Philip has also written a couple of books: "Disagree Without Disrespect" and "Future Proof, How to Adopt and Master Artificial AI to Secure Your Job and Career."

So I would love for you to give a warm welcome to Philip and listen to his story.

Hey, April.

Hey, how are you?

Good, how are you?

Good. Thank you for rescheduling. My niece got married last weekend and it was a zoo.

I can imagine. Dealing with change can be difficult to handle regardless of whether you're on the spectrum or not. It was a beautiful wedding, but I'm so glad it was over.

No problem. I get it. Because I know you have two little girls.

Mm-hmm. How old are they?

Seven.

You got a long way to go. Just wait. Just wait.

I know. I know. I know. Walking them down the aisle, that's a whole other thing. But I'm kind of glad I got time on my hands, not having to worry about that anytime soon.

My dress doesn't fit or I don't like the way it looks. Okay, all right, we're dealing with dolls right now so I can handle that a little bit better right now. So welcome to my podcast, I'm so glad you're on. I looked at your bio and I want to be you when I grow up also. You've accomplished so much.

Thank you.

I was like, wow, I was like, I'm on only thing number three, hopefully Lord willing I got a little more I'd like to go so some more things on my list I'd like to accomplish as well. So I was like, oh, my gosh, I can't even get myself together just to get this podcast. There's one step at a time, that's all we can do, you know, just build on that.

So tell my audience a little bit about yourself and how you came to get here with all your accomplishments.

Yeah. So I think I started out just like any other human being that had to be born first, had to learn how to breathe, to eat, use the bathroom, all that sort of stuff. So the highlight there is, you know, my story started out like a lot of other people's stories.

I think from there, April, a lot of what was going on for me was something that I wasn't really aware of because I was so young, but it became apparent to my family that I was processing things, doing things a lot differently from other kids my age, even to the point where my mom has told me in the past that I didn't speak until I was four. Right. I can't comprehend what I was thinking or saying or doing when I was four. I have no recollection, right? So I can only imagine what that was like, being nonverbal at that point.

What I will say is I think a huge indicator for me to be on the right path, so to speak, was having early intervention from people in my family, like my grandmother, somebody who didn't see any difference as far as me versus other kids, but as far as being treated differently. You know, back then autism or autism spectrum wasn't held to the same regards it is now, nor was it really spoken of. It was more so like associated with like being special, right? Or special education. Right. And so it was almost a sense where it's like thinking that this kid is clearly not on the same levels of all the typical kids. So it's almost like you're grooming that family of a different way of teaching and a different lifestyle altogether, different life goals for that kid, even at an early age.

And my grandmother, for example, saw things really differently. She said, hey, my boy can read, my boy can do all these things, you just watch. And so I remember what I do remember a few summers when I was really young, sitting on her lap and basically tracing letters on those blue and white handwriting tablets that we used to have in school. I don't know if they still have them now, but I used to really learn how to actually write back then. And even now when people compliment me on my handwriting for the few times since we're all on the computer typing digital smartphone age texting, very few occasions we actually handwriting something. So the few times where that happens, a lot of people that compliment me, I just hold as a credit to my grandmother. Whether it was teaching me handwriting, multiplication, flashcards later on in life. I remember learning Chinese checkers with her. She really just, more than anything else, she taught me. She showed me a lot of love and dedication, irregardless of how I looked on the outside with regards to progress.

And I think the biggest thing from that, April, was when I was in seventh grade, it was more so the sense of thinking, you know, my mom's raising me and my sister on her own with the assistance of my grandparents. My father's not present during this time. So I'm not the only male role model I'm getting is from my grandfather who should be retired, but it's now taking part trying to help us. And the best way I could be of service or of gratitude to my family for all the sacrifices and things that they were doing to help give me the best education possible was not necessarily sign up for a part-time job. My job was to excel in the classroom. And so I remember that as far as the best way to show appreciation for my mom, my grandmother, and my grandfather was to do very well in the classroom. So I went from a young kid that was just trying to fit in, really wasn't trying to go above and beyond to being valedictorian in my class in eighth grade, going to a top college prep high school that following year, graduating top 10 percent, got accepted to every college I applied to, including the Ivy League, got a full scholarship to University of North Carolina Chapel Hill.

I think from there it just kind of blossomed to, you know, I really want to do the very best with what's given in front of me because I realized that, you know, hey, you can only do so much if someone's giving you something. But if you're not maximizing, optimizing, or doing the best with what you have, you might not get much more out of that. And just excelling at what's on my plate, that was the best way for me to share my gratitude for my family, for all they've done up to that point for me growing up.

Do you feel like even now that autism has been, you know, accelerated into more than it has been, that kids, minority kids still are being diagnosed later than they should be? Because I know that even I had to fight for my son to be diagnosed. And it just seems like they're starting later and later and not getting that intervention that they need to kind of excel to where they need to be.

Yeah. So I can't speak in terms of like medical professional or somebody that works in that sort of realm as far as like, you know, whether it's diagnosing kids with autism spectrum disorder or working with kids with ASD. What I will say, though, is I think whether it's from my experience growing up or my experience here with two kids that are on the autism spectrum and the amount of effort my wife and I have been working on from an early intervention standpoint to help our kids close the gap or bridge the gap. Yeah, I definitely see the risk there. And I think, if anything, regardless of background, I think it really attests to, you know, for lack of a better word, just like a parent's love and fight for and advocacy for his or her kid. Because I think even for me as a parent, sometimes, you know, I could notice something, but I'm a first-time parent. I got two kids. They're twin daughters. I'm experiencing this for the first time. So there's some things that might pass over me I don't notice or don't see as something different compared to other kids. So sometimes you don't know what you don't know. And I think that, you know, one of those things that comes out of it is kind of seeing where your kids are and where they could be and getting that type of, you know, guidance or instruction or resources that other parents may get more so than others. And sometimes the tragedy of not knowing what you don't know can come back later on and really harm you later on.

And being autistic yourself, what challenges do you feel going through all the education that you've gone through did you have? Getting supports. Because I know a lot of kids going through higher education have a lot of difficulty getting supports that they need to actually excel with their courses.

Yeah, I think for me, like I remember having speech therapy in elementary school and doing certain activities and accommodations more so in elementary school than beyond. I think once I got into middle school and started really taking things to another level academically, I didn't have any accommodations at that point but what I would say is even with me being on inspection growing up in like middle and high school I did grasp or at least try to grasp the idea of just me looking at things differently from the rest of my classmates and trying to figure out why I process things or why I have, you know, even like from a social skills standpoint, which probably becomes more pronounced as you get into like middle and high school, how you approach things with your friends and, you know, love interests, if you want to call that or crushes back then. I probably went about things differently from your typical person to your typical adolescent boy. But I didn't know why, right? I didn't have a good sense of that. And I think to the best of their ability, my mom and my grandparents tried to fill in the gaps and answer questions when I was just curious, trying to figure out why I am the way I am or why I process or do things a certain way that I do that might be different or why I may be perceived or treated differently because of how I go about things. And I think that, you know, even just in reflection, that probably was more so the case. Like, why am I coming off so different? Why am I having a tough time fitting in? And then also getting to a point of just embracing my uniqueness, which honestly, it's something that followed me even to this day. Just kind of really acknowledging, hey, just I'm a different type of human being. I go about things differently. And some people understand this. Some people do not. And some people are fans of it. Some people are not. And, you know, that's something that I realize a lot of other people deal with, too, even if they're neurotypical.

Were you a lot like a lot of other autistic people, very much a loner? Or did you have like maybe that one best friend?

That's me. Listen, it's... Jeez. I, yeah, I can count on like half a hand at any given point in time of my life as far as like friends or people I trusted. I also tend to be the type of person that I can be very self-guarded as far as who I become vulnerable in front of, defensive in a sort. Because I've been burned before. And I think, yeah, like part of a loner is just like for me, like growing up, like my grandmother was my best friend. When she passed, there was a huge gap that, you know, I just didn't feel as comfortable around other people to the same degree I was with around her. I had one or two college friends. I had, you know, friends in high school, but like one or two. But yeah, I think how you describe April. Yes, I'm pretty much a loner, which was why, you know, when I got married was so important because, you know, when I got married eight years ago, it was more so not just the thought of getting married. It's just like, I feel like I have like a best friend that if I can't trust anybody else, I at least know I have that one person that understands me, warts and all, is an advocate for me, loves me unconditionally. And I feel like I can go the distance like for the rest of the life of my life, God willing, that I feel like supported and I can support her too.

So for those out there that I know my son tends to have all the questions about relationships and dating and sometimes I cannot answer all those questions for him. It's not always an easy task to open up yourself to somebody else or date. What would you say to everybody? Just take your time and just there's somebody out there, but it's OK to just take your time and just find that person. They're out there.

Yeah, I mean, I think it's kind of a similar thing. When I was going through it in my own experience, there's definitely questions I felt comfortable sharing or asking my mother. Questions I felt more likely to share with my grandfather or my grandmother and there are questions quite honestly I felt sad I couldn't ask my dad sad that my dad wasn't around, to really be open to having the type of relationship where I feel trusting to ask someone who is like a spitting image of right I came from you you are a man like me or a young man for me and I can't ask those questions or don't feel comfortable or trusting to ask those questions I think it's unfortunate and I think with regards to that it's like it really gets down to trust more than anything else to your point I think if it's if it's young men that have these type of questions it's helpful to have an older man that you trust like a father or a father figure. So we're not burdening our mom with questions. Either she may not feel comfortable sharing or honestly feels like somebody better can handle those type of questions. But outside of that, yeah, I think the key is if you can't find somebody on that level to trust and ask those questions, take your time for sure. Don't rush into it because you're learning. We also live in an age now that we have a lot of knowledge at our fingertips now with regards to the internet now with artificial intelligence where it's just like even just the curious person can just behind a computer screen at his or her leisure his or her privacy can ask just about any question that he or she has and get some sort of answer to go off of and that could be good and a little concerning too depending on the nature of the questions and the nature of the responses that come out.

How did you overcome being comfortable speaking in front of a lot of people?

So I think a lot of that came from both my mom and my grandmother. I think a good part of that was understanding that, you know, going from nonverbal to feeling comfortable speaking in front of groups of people, it definitely didn't happen overnight. It was something that I struggled with initially because a lot of the fears of public speaking come out for anybody. It's just like, you know, how I be perceived, you know, how, you know, I'd be able to deliver it. You know my voice squeak you know certain things like that I think it just came off in the sense where you had people that instilled in you a certain sense of confidence that they believed in you they believe you can do it they also give you the reality that this is not something that just comes easy you're gonna have to practice you're gonna have to get better at it you're gonna have to learn from things you don't do well at just like with any skill at the same time I think I've also learned just how powerful communication can be, not just to express yourself, but to further your own career. And so just kind of seeing like the incentive to get good at communication really started to become like more of a self propeller for me. Like you could see like the reason why it's helpful. And now it's not external coming from somebody else. Now it's like internally like, OK, I'm doing good so far and I want to get better

Embrace Your Unique Journey: Unleashing Potential with Constantine Moran

Hey guys, welcome to Adulting with Autism, the podcast where we dive into the rollercoaster of adulthood through a neurodiverse lens. I'm April Ratchford, your friendly occupational therapist mom, proudly on the spectrum and raising an amazing young adult son with autism. Join us as we share stories, tips, and laughs, offering a supportive space for anyone navigating life's twists and turns. Grab your drink of choice, no judgment, and let's embark on this journey together. This is Adulting with Autism.

Hey guys, hey, happy Wednesday. Welcome back to the podcast. As you can see, I have all the noises happening today. It's a day where I'm trying to be productive and every single noise that can happen is happening. I have cats, I have trucks, I have beepity beeps, you name it, I got it. Really, I am trying to be productive and belt out episodes, which is unusual for me. Usually, I'm a last-second Sally. Ask my sister. I'm going to have her on the podcast too. She'll tell you. I am last second. And today, it's just a big ball of mess.

I am happy to have you guys back for another episode. It is episode 20. I can't believe I made it to 20. Thanks, guys. I really appreciate you guys. And I enjoy doing these. And I hope you're getting some info out of this. As I was, again, my cats with all the opinions. As I was doing this episode, my son Z was like, why do you have so many mental health people on here? You got like a kabillion. And I looked at him and I said, well, because not everyone speaks the same language. He's like, what? I was like, some people don't understand the language unless different people say the same thing a different way. And that's why I like to present information. That's the same from different people because not everyone gets it in the same way.

For instance, when I went to OT school, I was taking a neuroscience class and it did not matter who I talked to in class. I could not understand it for the life of me. It was the teacher, my classmates, they all tried to explain it to me. And I finally was like, I need somebody who speaks April language. So who knew me better than my sister? So she just explained it in my language. She grew up with me. So she just explained it in my terms. Same thing. I bring different people on to help you professionally. Maybe that, personally grow. And one person may not grasp it with one professional, but maybe they grasp it with another. And that's all I want to do is help everyone kind of personally grow. Parents, caregivers, young adults on the spectrum, adult in the spectrum, that want to take it to the next level. This is a big crazy world. We all need some help. We all need a little help sometimes.

Bringing on my next guest is Constantine Moran. Constantine is a passionate advocate of personal growth, self-discovery, and a professional developer. Let's start this again, shall we? Shall we? Let's do this again. Constantine is a passionate advocate of personal growth, self-discovery, and professional development with over 15 years of experience. Through his journey from a fear-ridden man hiding his authentic self to embracing vulnerability and authenticity, Constantine demonstrates that self-discovery can unlock the keys to your personal and professional success.

As a holistic life empowerment mentor and coach, he inspires and empowers individuals on their unique journeys toward growth and self-discovery through both his professional and personal life, as well as his podcast, Unleash Thyself. Integrating his passion for technology, spirituality, and mentorship, Constantine helps individuals unlock their full potential, fostering a positive impact on the world around them. His mission centers on personal growth, spirituality, and self-discovery, dedicated to uplifting and empowering every member of the audience with his humble and sincere insights.

His call to action directs listeners to Unleash Thyself, which is his website that serves as a valuable resource for seeking personal growth and self-discovery, along with spirituality. By visiting his website, listeners can access insightful content, including podcast episodes, articles, and resources that aim to inspire, uplift, and empower them on their unique journeys. In the near future, the website will provide opportunities for community building, networking, and further engagement with his work as a holistic life empowerment mentor and coach. So would everyone please welcome my guest, Constantine, to the Adulting with Autism podcast.

Hey Constantine, welcome to the show!

As we wrap up another awesome episode of Adulting with Autism, just remember, we're all in this together. Keep being your amazing self, celebrating wins big and small, and facing whatever life throws your way with a smile. Thanks for tuning in and until next time, stay awesome and keep shining bright. Oh, and if you want to help our podcast grow, don't forget to share it with your friends. Leave us a review and hit that subscribe button. This is April Ratchford signing off from Adulting with Autism.

https://calmsuccesslive.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/constantin-bo-morun/

https://www.youtube.com/@unleashthyself

Unleash Thyself podcast

How To Unleash Leadership: Ethical Insights with Shanna Francesca

Welcome back to another episode of Adulting with Autism! I'm April Ratchford, your friendly occupational therapist mom, proudly on the spectrum and raising an amazing young adult son with autism. In this episode, we dive deep into the concept of leadership, especially through the lens of ethical leadership, as inspired by a recent experience my son Ahzerei had at work.

We are joined by the insightful Shana Francesca, a keynote speaker, consultant, and workshop facilitator with expertise in international and ethical leadership. Shana shares her unique journey from a challenging upbringing in an evangelical Christian cult to becoming the founder and CEO of Concinnate LLC, where she promotes intentional living through curiosity, respect, and accountability.

Shana enlightens us on the importance of building real-life relationships beyond the confines of social media, the essence of visualization over manifestation, and the critical difference between leadership and ethical leadership. She also provides practical tips for identifying ethical environments in workplaces and higher education institutions.

Unfortunately, due to a storm in Kentucky, our conversation was cut short, but the insights Shana shared were truly eye-opening. Don't miss her recommendations for books that challenge traditional views and promote a more inclusive understanding of leadership and relationships.

Thank you for tuning in, and remember, you don't have to be a natural-born leader to make a difference. Leaders can be created through dedication and ethical practice. Stay awesome and keep shining bright!

Until next time, this is April Ratchford signing off from Adulting with Autism. Don't forget to share, review, and subscribe to help our podcast grow!

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How We Show Up- Nia Birdsong

Untamed- Glennon Doyle

Author Bell Hooks

How to Thrive with Neurodivergence: A Deep Dive with Dr. Matt

Thriving with Neurodivergence: A Deep Dive with Dr. Matt - Adulting with Autism Podcast

In this engaging episode of the "Adulting with Autism" podcast, host April Ratchford and renowned clinical psychologist and advocate for neurodivergent individuals, Dr. Matt, explore the challenges, strategies, and triumphs of neurodivergent adulthood. From tackling misconceptions about neurodivergence to illuminating the importance of self-advocacy for neurodivergent individuals, the conversation is both educational and inspiring.

The discussion navigates various topics in-depth, from the psychological and financial impacts of abusive working environments to the benefits of Vocational Rehabilitation (Voc Rehab). Emphasis is also placed on how medication and therapy can aid individuals in managing high levels of anxiety, and the necessity of finding a suitable balance between tech-time and social activities for children

The conversation highlights the evolving job market with companies restructuring their interviewing processes to create a fair environment for autistic individuals. The discussion also delves into the fears and difficulties confronting autistic individuals or their caregivers when pursuing independent living, emphasizing the need to celebrate achievements over focusing on skill deficits.

This insightful episode provides practical steps towards independence and self-reliance for autistic teens and adults. Topics range from teaching budgeting and life skills to addressing the significant differences between enjoying and developing video games. The importance of nurturing dietary habits and identifying strengths gets outlined, providing a blueprint for sustainable personal and career growth. The episode concludes with a profound message about harnessing interests and strengths to foster meaningful connections and successful careers.

https://www.theneurodiversitycollective.com/

https://www.facebook.com/drmattzakreski/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/matthew-zakreski-0a32358/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtp0JmQXsPZfDWtfbS2yRCw